Over the past year I have gotten into a program called "Dressing Your Truth"(DYT). Along with Stress Management, it has helped me to come to really understand myself. But it's not to say that this isn't an ongoing process. Over the past few months I have learned some important things about myself that I'd like to share with you.
When we first arrived in Guatemala, I thought I was understanding who I was, but little did I know I would face some challenges that would turn me to find the opposite. In the DYT program there is a lot taught about coming to understand your true nature as an individual as well as your dress to go along with it. I had been doing all of this, or so I thought, until just recently. I found myself wondering a lot about my self worth and wondering if I am important or special. This is a constant battle of mine coming to understand and feel of my worth as I'm sure it is with many men and women. In trying to understand these things I have learned over the past few days, something that has already made a huge impact on me and will continue to help me through my journey through life.
I was talking with my sister-in-law Liesel the other day and we started talking about stop signs. Weird huh? Well, let me explain. Liesel was talking about how she has noticed that she has put up some stop signs in her own life and was working to correct those stops signs and turn them into green lights. I started wondering what are the stop signs I have put up in my own life? Then I started to recognize that I have put up stop signs EVERYWHERE. A stop sign with money. Thinking we will never have enough. Recently, a stop sign in making friends with the Mayan people. Thinking I can't trust anyone. There are many more signs that I have put up and I'm still finding them, but the biggest stop sign I noticed that has been really affecting me, is the stop sign of my self worth.
These stop signs are core beliefs that I have about myself and about life. This core belief that I have found is, that I believe that I don't deserve anything. I don't believe that I am important or that I have worth. When I realized this I decided that it was time to make a change. It's just a simple change that I've made, but it's been a way that has been very effective in other areas of my life and has already helped me to understand what I really believe.
In my study with stress management I have found that the biggest stress management technique and one of the most effective ways to manage your stress, is through forgiveness. So, one morning I took the time to just forgive. To say out loud that "I forgive myself for believing that I am of no worth. I forgive myself for thinking I have to prove myself to others. For thinking that other people know me better then I know myself.".
I spent the early hours of the morning forgiving and expressing gratitude out loud for myself and for the blessings in my life and I found that I had more confidence and I felt better about myself. Now, I do this often it's not like my life changed dramatically and will stay that way after one morning, but by telling myself out loud everyday that I am of worth, that I forgive myself for thinking these things and I express gratitude for myself, things got better and are continuing everyday to get better.
I am finding that not only is dressing your truth a great step, but understanding my nature is one of the most important things as well as letting go and expressing love to myself. My hope in sharing this experience with you is that you come to find that you are special and you are unique. That you are important and that you can be the kind of person that you've always wanted to be. It's amazing what the power of forgiveness and gratitude can bring and by eliminating those stop signs one at a time, those green lights come into play and there's a little more light shining throughout the day.