D is for Drops of Awesome

I was thinking today about a blog post that I often look back on for encouragement.  In this post a Mom talks about a lesson that she has learned in how she looks at herself and others.  She tells of a story when she was walking her 7 year old son to the bus stop.  She didn't walk him to the bus stop very often, but decided to do so this day. Halfway to the bus her little boy reached up and held her hand. She immediately thought:

"That’s awesome that you’re walking him to the bus stop and putting on this “mother of the year” act today. What about yesterday and the day before that? You hardly ever walk him to the bus. He’s probably holding your hand because he’s so desperate for the love and attention you haven’t been showing him...I am a crap Mom."

Then another thought came. 

"What is wrong with you? You are being an awesome mom in this moment. Your child is happy. You are loving him and caring for him. He’s well fed and dressed. You’re walking to the bus stop in the early morning and you’re already wearing a bra for heck’s sake. Do not rob yourself of this moment’s joy because of what you failed to do yesterday or what you fear you might not do tomorrow."

Over time, she came up with the idea of "Drops of Awesome." Every time you do something good, kind or productive, that is a drop in your bucket of awesome. It's all about allowing yourself to feel joy and allowing yourself to be proud of the small victories you achieve. 

She relates these "drops of awesome," to the atonement of Jesus Christ. When we are close to Christ he pours more into our buckets then we could ever imagine. Our capacity for joy grows as we keep going one drop at a time. 

Whenever I go back through this story and am reminded of my abilities and successes, I feel so blessed to know that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me. Who is cheering me on and is delighted in my little successes.

What's important to us is important to him and each day we are doing all kinds of things to add to our bucket of "Awesome!" :) 

I only hope that as you go out each day that you remember to look at the drops of awesome you put into your bucket each day. Look at your successes and know that you have a Father in Heaven who is proud of you and loves you. 

You are AWESOME!! 

http://www.daringyoungmom.com/2012/12/19/drops-of-awesome/

C is for Chocolate

I have a bad habit of craving chocolate anytime I am upset, sad, worried or just plain had a bad day. I guess that means I am most definitely a stress eater...for chocolate. :) I have been trying to loose weight ever since we moved back to the U.S. and I have always known deep down that the culprit has been none other than...sugar (a.k.a. Chocolate). 

 I have studied Stress Management for about 4 years now and one thing I know is that weight loss doesn't just come from exercise and nutrition. Don't get me wrong those are two very important things, but another factor that plays into weight loss is your stress levels. And for me, my emotional well being was really struggling. So, to kick the stress eating, I knew I had to dig down deep inside to see what the real issue was for me. 

I know you are curious, but to be honest it is a little too personal for the world to know. ;) But I will say this, I started out looking at just my physical body. After I broke my foot in 2015, I then realized that there was much more to being healthy then my outward appearance. I mean, I have always known that it was important to take care of your inner self, but at that point my mind was so focused on what was outside, I was struggling to see what was happening inside of me (thus, the broken foot). It's funny to think, but Heavnely Father really was watching out for me at that time. I don't know if I would've even learned the lessons I have without him letting me brake my foot that day.

 I then began taking care of myself emotionally, mentally and spiritually. It has taken me a long time, but I have now come to the point where I am ready to kick the cravings and move forward making healthier food choices.  

My dear friend Chocolate will just have to find someone else to use her to fill their void, but for me... I'm happy with the new me. :) 

B is for Boxing

A little over a year ago, I decided to find a new hobby. I was bored of all the normal sporting activities and had no desire to do biking, running or anything like that. I wanted something fun, different and something I could feel passionate about. Something that would give me the drive to get up in the morning and give me the energy I needed to get through the day. I was at a point in my life where I was unsatisfied with where I was at, and needed to make some changes.

So, I went on a search. I looked up all kinds of different hobbies, but none of them really appealed to me. Then I remembered one of the ladies in the movie "Meet the Mormons." She was a kick boxer. I had done some shadow boxing in various Aerobic classes, but nothing quite as intense.

I came to the conclusion that I wanted to give it a try and felt really excited about it. So, I found a club called "Title Boxing Club," where the first class was free. I went one evening and loved it so much, I signed up right then and there. It was a hardcore workout, but made me feel so good that I wanted more.

I have now been boxing for a year and it has become a great passion of mine! Something about getting out your frustration and stress on a bag really makes all the difference. Plus, it is fun to learn a new sport. It's challenging and there is always something to improve on. I LOVE IT!!

Last year was a tough year for me and boxing helped me get through it all. Sometimes, I think it truly saved my life. It wasn't just a coincidence that I found boxing. No, I truly believe the Lord led me right to it. I'm happier, healthier and I have learned so much about myself. It was one change in my life that I will forever be grateful for!

A is for An Angel By My Side

A few months ago, I received some news that threw me for a loop. I was troubled and struggling with some difficult challenges. But one particular day I decided to go to the LDS Temple. As I sat in the Celestial room pondering, all I could think was that I just wanted someone to care. I felt very alone and felt I had no one to talk to. But the Lord new my thoughts and desires of my heart.

A few minutes later, a man walked up to me and asked me how I was doing? He said "Either you are very deep in thought or really sad. So, I thought I could come over here and see if I could put a smile on your face." He then asked me if he could sit down, next to me, for a minute. I said "Yes" and he proceeded to talk to me about all kinds of things. There wasn't anything in specific that he said that was really important or significant. But his friendly smile and the impression he felt to come sit by me for just a moment, made all the difference.

He did put a smile on my face. And he may never know the difference he made in my life that night. I know that the Lord was watching over me and that he sent this angel to sit by my side at a time where I needed to know that I was noticed and that someone cared. This was such a beautiful tender mercy that I will always treasure.

 The Lord loves each of us and is so mindful of our circumstances.

I will forever be thankful for the angel he sent to sit by my side that winter evening. :)

Hallelujah!!

I feel the need to write today. I'm not really sure about what, but I just know I need to.

For a long time, I have set aside writing, because I felt like it was pointless. I would think about writing and say to myself "there are so many, many others who speak far better than me, who's thoughts are more important than mine. Why would anyone care to read what I have to say? Why would I bother?" These are the thoughts that have played through my mind since last summer.

I've had a hard time for quite a while seeing myself as God sees me. I know that God loves me. But I also know that I have moments where I can't see as clearly as I'd like.  For me, I guess writing is a way for me to feel like I have a place, like I have a say. I can be a very reserved person and a very private person at times, but I also have stories and lessons that I've learned that I love to share with others if given the opportunity to share, but often set it aside thinking "why does it matter?"

I am very aware of others and I care if they are having a difficult time or if I can do something to help. And in being so aware of others and their feelings, I tend to worry about every little thing I say. I never want to offend or make someone feel like they aren't wanted or important. I often feel that when I speak, it's just not good enough or I feel misunderstood. But I also know, where it is important to care for others, it is important to care for myself.  I neglect myself and my feelings a lot more than I would like and sometimes I may focus too much on myself.

There is a fine balance is caring for others and caring for yourself.  If you can't love yourself, you can't truly love others. It is even a commandment to love yourself.  "Love thy neighbor as thyself..." is as the scripture says.  When we are able to truly love ourselves, then we can truly love others. This is my lifelong goal. To truly love myself and see myself as God sees me so that I may be able to truly love others and be the Lord's hands when I am needed.

I guess that's why I stopped writing. I felt like what I had to say wasn't good enough...for others. But I couldn't really see that what was most important was writing just for me.  Writing is good therapy and I stopped my therapy, because I lost sight of who I am as a person and who I am to God.  I guess it's time for me to stop worrying so much about what others may think of me and just keep moving forward as...Jessica, as me. :)  Besides, God knows my heart, he knows me better than anyone. Satan is the one who pushes those nasty thoughts into my mind. So, why do I let him in?

I'm not perfect. No one is. It's a battle that we are all fighting. Good vs. Evil. And when we are progressing and doing as God would have us do, Satan fights even harder to drag us down, to make us feel lower than ever. I know that as I do those things the Lord would have me do, Satan has no power over me. Studying the Scriptures daily, going to the temple as often as I can, praying to my Father in Heaven and so many, many more things, are the things that provide me with the protection that I need.

There is a song that I probably listen to at least once a day called "My Story," by Big Daddy Weave.  It brings me a lot of comfort as well as motivates me to keep moving forward, to keep Christ as the center of my life.

If you were to hear my story, I would have no doubt that you would hear hope that wouldn't let go, love that never gave up and life. You would hear victory over the enemy, you would hear freedom that was won for me and life overcome the grave. Christ is in every aspect of my life and has been there every step of the way.

If it weren't for him, I would be lost. I would not be able to find peace, I would not be able to step out of my comfort zone and write my thoughts like this.  I would not be able to live again. But because of him I can say, with all of my heart, Hallelujah!! I can live again, just as he did and does.  I know Christ lives and I know that he loves me! Because of him I can find joy and happiness in any circumstance. Because of him I can see clearly and have a knowledge of truth. Because of him I can know who I am. I know the Gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored to this earth and because of him I can know that I am important! I love my Savior!

These are my thoughts today that I felt the need to share and I hope that you can just know that life is so good and the Lord love you! Things may be hard and trials will come, but that's how we grow and as we lean on the Lord, as is well!

Hallelujah!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIHmYBKkGa8

In All Things Give Thanks

 

Coming home from my morning workout, I was thinking about all the things that I have, all the things I am so blessed to have and been given.

I was looking back at my time is Guatemala, a time that I hold so dear to my heart. I found myself being reminded of what it was like to move back to the United States from a place that was so beautiful and had such a sweet spirit about it, to the state that I called home, Utah.

Recently, we have been thinking about upgrading to a larger apartment. I have found myself longing for more. More space, a separate living room and kitchen space, 3 bedrooms, more storage...the list goes on and on. But as I was pondering on moving from our little 2 bedroom apartment, I found myself longing not to go, but to stay.

It's funny, because we wouldn't move far, just a few stairwells over if we were to move, but there is something about this small space that I am so truly grateful for.

 

You see, when we lived in Guatemala we lived practically outside. It is hard to explain, but it was nothing like your American home. Cement walls, 3 rooms & a bathroom connected to your outdoor "living room" space, a Pila (sink/washing machine), improvised kitchen with a 2 burner gas stove, mini fridge with the door falling off, a bathroom with a door that never shuts and neighbors above and below watching your every move. That was was where lived.

Don't get me wrong the place we lived, was just a place, but the land we lived in...was unbelievably breathtaking.  We lived among the people and despite how hard it was at times...it was the best experience of my life.

Moving back, we found student housing at the U of U and applied for a 2 bedroom apartment. Within a week we had a place to live, but we never got to see it before we moved in, so we were relying completely on faith. ;)

When we arrived in the parking lot of our new apartment complex, we were filled with so much excitement and when we walked inside...we were overjoyed to be here in this small, yet clean and free of insects and creepy crawlers, apartment. ;)

We had very little. We didn't have a bed (just an air mattress with me being 6 months pregnant at the time) and we didn't have furniture. All we had was our suit cases and various other belongings. Yet we were so grateful!!

I look our apartment now and see much more than just things, I see a couch that provides comfort, relaxation and seating when needed. I see a table that allows us to gather together as a family to eat and talk with one another. I see a kitchen, though it is small, allows us to prepare meals, a sink with clean running water that allows us to hydrate whenever we want.

I see beds, that allows us to sleep, relax and get the rest we need to arise refreshed each day. I see the pantry filled with food so that we don't go hungry. I see an oven that we can cook in and make all kinds of wonderful meals. I see walls and a door that provide protection from the elements. I see books that are able to help us learn, grow and enjoy. I see toys that allow my kids to use their imaginations and have fun together. But most of all I see the blessings that Heavenly Father has given to us. All the things we have came from him, especially our apartment. He has blessed us in so many ways and I am can't help, but give thanks to him.

There are so many, many more things that I could say about our simple, little apartment. It truly is a blessing from our Father in Heaven.

We may still move to a larger apartment one day, but for now we will stay in this space. It is beautiful and oh, so wonderful. 

Our sweet, little apartment, isn't so little when you look at the blessings that have been placed all around us. It has what we need and there is so much love here. After all, it is home. :)

Beautiful For Him

 

 

 

 

Music is a powerful thing, a marvelous gift we have been given.  I was preparing for a family BBQ and decided I needed a pick me up so I turned on some music on my YouTube playlist and a song called "Beautiful for Me" by Mercy River came on. It was so beautiful and so perfect for me to hear today. 

 

It talks about us looking in the mirror at our own reflection, picking apart at every detail of ourselves and telling ourselves that we aren't good enough, but there's a whisper and He says:

 

 

Has anybody told you you’re beautiful?
You might agree if you could see what I see, oh
‘Cuz everything about you is incredible
You should have seen me smile the day that I made you
Beautiful for me

 

 

As I listened to these words I found myself crying.  The picture that came to mind was my Heavenly Father reaching out to me and saying these words reminding me that he created me and I am perfect to him. 

 

We are so precious to our Heavenly Father. It is something so real and so true.  Why would we say hurtful things about our bodies and about the person we are when this amazing being created us in his image? When he created you his focus was on you. He created you the way he wanted you to be and you are so perfect and so beautiful for him.

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BUjitpDMdY&index=3&list=PLyLkBjwzjyMjpiac-sg1rwYcameC_g3QN

 

 

Beautiful For Me

 

Every girl young and old has to face her own reflection
Twirl around, stare it down
What’s the mirror gonna say
With some luck, you’ll measure up
But you might not hold a candle to the rest
“Is that your best?” says the mirror to the mess
But there’s a whisper in the noise
Can you hear a little voice
and He says

 

Has anybody told you you’re beautiful?
You might agree if you could see what I see, oh
‘Cuz everything about you is incredible
You should have seen me smile the day that I made you
Beautiful for me

 

If it’s true beauty lies in the eye of the beholder
I want my life and what’s inside to give Him something to behold
I want a heart that’s captivating
I wanna hear my Father saying…

 

Has anybody told you you’re beautiful?
You might agree if you could see what I see, oh
‘Cuz everything about you is incredible
You should have seen me smile the day that I made you

 Beautiful for me

Close your eyes
Look inside
Let me see the you that you’ve been trying to hide
Long ago, I made you so very beautiful
So I ought to know you’re beautiful

 

Has anybody told you you’re beautiful?
You might agree if you could see what I see, oh
‘Cuz everything about you is incredible
You should have seen me smile the day that I made you
Beautiful for me
You’re so beautiful
Beautiful for me
So beautiful for me
Has anybody told you?