It's Like A Symphony, Just Keep Listening

The movie "Meet the Mormon's" was very inspiring to me. It really motivated me to come to understand the gospel to a deeper level than what I have known, but especially in coming to understand who I am. I think the thing that inspired me the most from that movie is the song sung at the end called "Glorious."

 

This song is beautiful and when I am having a hard day I probably listen to it about 50 times. This song means a lot to me. I was going through a hard time when this movie came out, but it meant the most to me when I went to the "Time Out For Women" conference here in Salt Lake.  I had many questions on my mind as I went to this conference and I was struggling to understand some things about myself and about life in general and when they sung this song at that conference, my heart filled with joy and I felt so much peace and love from my Father in Heaven. 

 

My favorite part of this song is the chorus. We are all a part of this symphony we call life and it is so important that we remember to take the time to listen to our Father in Heaven, to listen to the different parts that everyone is playing and to figure out what our part is. 

 

 I love that in the background, if you listen close, they will sing the word listen or listening many times throughout the song. To me, this is a good reminder to take the time to ponder, to be by myself for just a moment and be with the lord. A reminder to listen to the spirit and to feel of his peace.

 

It is so amazing, what we're all creating! Each one of us is so amazing! You are so amazing!!  As you come to understand and know that for yourself, I know that you will be able to share your light and love more fully with others. I have learned this lesson many times throughout my life and probably will learn it again many more times, but it is amazing how when you are loving yourself, and speaking and thinking kindly of yourself, how much of a difference you make in the lives of the people around you. You never know the impact that you may have on someone.

 

 

There are times when
You might feel aimless
You can't see the places
Where you belong
But you will find that
There is a purpose
It's been there
Within you all along
And when you're near it
You can almost hear it

It's like a symphony
Just keep listening
And pretty soon you'll start
To figure out your part
Everyone plays a piece
And there are melodies
In each one of us
Oh! It's glorious

And you will know how
To let it ring out
As you discover
Who you are
Others around you
Will start to wake up
To the sounds that are
In their hearts
It's so amazing
What we're all creating

It's like a symphony
Just keep listening
And pretty soon you'll start
To figure out your part
Everyone plays a piece
And there are melodies
In each one of us
Oh! It's glorious

Oh, oh, oh
As you feel
The notes build
Oh, you will see

It's like a symphony
Just keep listening
And pretty soon you'll start
To figure out your part
Everyone plays a piece
And there are melodies
In each one of us
Oh! It's glorious

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GytW_rgr0RM

 

A Simple Hug

As long as I can remember I have always had a great desire to share with others God's love.  Even though at times I have struggled with understanding or even seeing his love for me, that desire is still there.  It has always been important to me to share with others how special they truly are not only to me, but to our Heavenly Father.  One experience in particular that I have had in the past, has been coming to my mind over and over again for quite sometime and I would like to share this experience with you. 

I was on Trax one day riding home from school at the U of U to Daybreak.  About a half hour into the ride I noticed a girl in the seat across from me crying. I paid close attention to her and as I sat there I got the impression that I needed to give her a hug.  I didn't know why, but that feeling didn't go away for the last half hour of the ride.  I was so nervous, but that nervousness told me that this was no ordinary thought, this was something from the spirit. 

At the last stop she stayed in her seat waiting for everyone else to get off, but I walked over and said "Excuse me, could I give you a hug?" She nodded and I gave her a big hug that lasted a few minutes.  Afterwards she said "Thank You" and we went our separate ways. 

 

I don't know what difference that hug made to this girl, but I do know what a difference it made to me. I've thought about that day many times since. I know I have had moments in my life where I was struggling and all I've wanted is a big hug. So, in thinking from this girls point of view, if a stranger came up to me and asked if I needed a hug on one of those rough days, I probably would accept without hesitation. 

I learned that it is important to follow those simple promptings or good thoughts that you may have.  Even though I don't know how it effected her, I do know that God loves all of his children and that we are here to help each other.  I know God loves me. He showed me that he loves this daughter, that I gave this hug to, so much that he wanted me to share his love for her through that hug. He wanted me to show her how much she is loved even by a complete stranger.

That experience happened about a year and a half ago, but has been on my mind almost every day.  I too have needed that reminder that God loves me many times. I thought I was giving this hug just for this beautiful daughter of God, but over time that experience has affected me in ways I can hardly describe. I gained reassurance, peace and I have been able to see how much my Heavenly Father loves and trusts me.

We are here to help each other, to help each other come to know him and through simple acts of kindness we are sharing God's light.  What an incredible gift it is to be able to share God's love.  We are all here to learn and grow and we are here to support and lift each other. 

If With A Single Loaf

"Has anyone ever told you that you are extraordinary? That you are destined for remarkable things?  That there is a spark of greatness in you?

They should have."

 

Recently I read a book called "The Peter Potential." In this book it goes through the life of Peter and the things that Christ had taught him. Christ taught Peter through invitations. By inviting him to do things that may have been difficult for him or challenged him. Through those invitations, Peter grew and did things that brought him closer to Christ, as well as helped him to come closer to reaching his true potential. 

 

 When Christ calmed the storm and came walking on water Peter asked "Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.". (Matthew 12:28)

 

Then the Lord invited Peter by saying "Come" (Matthew 14:29)

Sometimes Accepting invitations from the lord requires action, actions that are focused on Him.  Peter walked on the water. 
 

 It's not hard for a little mustard seed to be blown away by a powerful gust of wind.  The same applies to a little faith. Peter began to sink when he began to doubt. 

 

"In the sinking moments of life, when you have wondered if you might drown, have you ever cried out, "Lord, Save Me"?"

 

In those moments where you have felt like you were sinking, where was the Lord? 

Within Reach.

 

When Peter started to sink "Immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him.".

 (Matthew 14:31)

 

 

Recently, I have gone through something that has left me wondering "If I might drown." I felt like I was caught up in a whirlwind of chaos and I couldn't get out, but then the Lord "stretched forth his hand and caught me."
 

 Sometimes things happen and you don't understand why.  Sometimes the Lord needs to send you a firm reminder that he is there and extends that invitation to you to "come."

 

He knows everything about you.  He knows what keeps you up at night. He knows what weighs on your heart. He knows your longing to become something more. 

 

If the Lord can do something like walk on water or share 5 loaves of bread with a multitude of five thousand, imagine what he can do for you.

 

I know in my life I have seen it so many times.  The Lord has been there and has strengthened me.  Through the invitations that the lord gives to me, I have found myself grow.  I have seen the lord's hand in my life.  As I do those things that are most important, the things that may seem to be falling out of place and in utter chaos, come together and work for your good. Everything works out when you come to him and have faith and trust that God can do great things. 

 

Sometimes when we head down one road and road blocks arise, we need to be redirected.  It doesn't mean we chose wrong, but rather that the path we took just needs a little refining. 

 

He knows what you can do.  He knows what you can be.  Nothing is impossible with God.  He can make the impossible, possible as long as you put your faith and trust in him.  He can take a grain of mustard seed and make it blossom. 

 

"If the Lord can do great things with a single loaf, Imagine what he can do with a single life."

-The Peter Potential

 

 

 

Seeing Beauty

I've been looking back through pictures of myself 2 years ago and comparing them with pictures now.  I have come a long way from where I was then. I feel like a totally different person.

After I had Emree, I went through trial after trail, some, nobody even knew existed and it was a struggle. Two years ago I not only went through physical trials, but emotional and spiritual ones as well.  One of those challenges had to do with my self-esteem.

I was feeling so low and so bad about myself more so then I ever have in my whole life.  I hurt myself with words, telling myself I was fat, not beautiful and undeserving of love. I felt like I was stuck in a bubble of negativity for myself.  But over the course of these past two years, I have become a completely different person.  To some I may still be the same old Jessica, but to myself I am beginning to understand me.

I'm still learning and working to overcome those evil voices in my head, but one thing that has gotten me through those tough times and has lifted me up, is a program I got into called, "Dressing Your Truth."

"Dressing Your Truth" is a program that has helped me to understand myself and has helped me to feel good about myself through the way I dress.  I absolutely LOVE it!!  It is a process in coming to understand who you are and learning to dress accordingly and has been an amazing process that has made me feel so good about myself. Anyone who has joined in on their own journey through DYT will tell you that it is so worth it and has changed the way they feel about themselves. 

When I first started dressing your truth it was all about the clothing, the hair, the make-up and the accessories, but as I got farther into it and started watching videos from Carol Tuttle, the creator of DYT, and reading blog posts I have come to realize that although the way I dress is important, it goes so much deeper.  I have come to see how unique I am and what supports me in the type of person I am.  I try to do things that support me rather than tear me apart.  I feel beautiful and in combining that with daily exercise, I feel that no matter what weight I am, that I can be satisfied with who I am as long as I am feeling good. 

Not only has Dressing Your Truth helped me learn more about myself, it has also helped me come to understand other people.  I have learned to be more patient with others, because I understand the kind of person they are and have learned to really love people on a deeper level. It's amazing the things that I've learned and I feel so blessed to have found this amazing program. 

I feel like this is a program that helps us to really come to understand each other and helps us to come closer to our Heavenly Father, because we are learning to love ourselves. It has helped me to come to understand my beauty and what Heavenly Father sees in me. What a great blessing!!

I'm still learning like I said, but I'm learning while feeling good. Thank goodness for people like Carol Tuttle for being inspired in creating something that truly changes lives. It seems like such a simple thing, but it makes a big difference. :)

 

Before DYT - Dressing more like a Type 1

 

After DYT - Dressing more like me, Type 2

If you want to learn more about Dressing Your Truth you can go to:

http://dressingyourtruth.com/

If anything, it's something fun and new to learn about. ;)

Remembering 2014

 

As a year ends and a new one begins we start to reminisce over all the experiences we've had over the past year. Good ones, bad ones, exciting ones, lessons we learned, etc.

Looking back over the past year, we've had some amazing and challenging experiences in our family. 

We started out the year 2014 by moving to Panajachel, Guatemala where we learned a new language, a new culture and helped build and open a hotel. What an adventure that was moving to a place where we had no idea what to expect from the moment we decided to pick up and leave our comfort zone.


Emree loved doing laundry by hand

 One thing I miss most about beautiful Panajachel, is walking down the main drag.  You can't beat that feeling of walking up and down the streets with people, shops and fruit carts all along the way. I loved that no matter who you saw down the road, they would always make sure to say "Buenos Dias," "Buenos Tardes" or "Buenos Noches" (depending on the time of day of course). There were so many friendly faces which always made my day whether I knew what they were saying or not.

This was also the place where we found out we would be welcoming a new baby into our home. This also gave us an opportunity to learn a little bit about the health care in Guatemala, which was...interesting. ;)

Guatemala will always have a special place in my heart and I'm so grateful I had the opportunity to live there and learn first hand what it's like to live in a third world country. :)  I learned things there that I would have never otherwise had the opportunity to learn if we hadn't moved there.  What a blessing it was. 

After living in Guatemala for 6 months, we decided it was time to move back to Utah. Travis started school continuing in Mechanical Engineering and we moved up to student housing at the U of U. After living in cockroach infested apartments and a cement block home with absolutely no privacy, this apartment has been by far our favorite place we've lived. It has been a great blessing to us. No matter how simple or how small our apartment may be to some, it is a special place that we love to call home.

 We have met so many wonderful people and have made some great friends. To be honest, before we got here I wasn't sure how quickly we would get to know people and I was a little worried I'd have no friends nearby, especially when I had the baby. But it's been another 6 months and we feel like we are amongst family. 

Emree turned two this year and is growing fast. She is so full of excitement and love and is very observant. When I am having a hard time and I don't think she will notice, she does and always asks "Are you okay Mom?" and runs up to me and gives me a big hug. She is such a big sweet heart and has also made some good friends here, although sometimes I'm not so sure she really cares. ;)

Emree is a beautiful little girl and is learning more and more everyday.  Her speech is coming along and she's making sense more and more everyday as well. She also learned Spanish this year and at one point was probably more fluent in it than me or Travis. She is also very polite, most of the time.  For a two year old, I'm pretty proud of her for remembering to say please and thank you.

Miles was a little miracle to us. We weren't planning on having another child for a while, but I guess he just couldn't wait and I am so glad he didn't. He has been a huge blessing to us and I am so grateful to have him in our family.

Miles was born  on November 9th and is just a sweet heart. He is smiling like c
razy and is a pretty laid back little guy.  He has a tickle spot on his tummy where he gets a little uncomfortable and is sleeping 5 to 7 hours a night now. Woo Hoo!
Miles is definitely a Mama's boy.  If he's frustrated or upset Daddy doesn't do as well of a job calming him down, but put him in his Mommy's arms and he will fall right to sleep (which makes me feel good). :)

Our family has grown from 3 to 4 and although it may take us a little longer to get out of the house and go places, I love it.  We are growing and learning together and love being a family.

 It's been an amazing year full of ups and downs, but overall it has been a great year! I'm grateful for the wonderful adventures I have had and for the things I have learned.  It's been a year full of blessings and I'm excited for 2015 and for the many new adventures ahead.

 

 

Remembering My Savior

I watched an old video the other day called "Mr. Krueger's Christmas." I love this short film, because it expresses just how beautiful the atonement really is through the life of this sweet man.  It's a simple message,  but its very special. In it there is a scene where Mr. Krueger is there with Christ after his birth.  He talks to him as if he is his old and dearest friend, expressing gratitude and love for him and for all that he has done for him throughout his life.
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUH_UqxWK58

Often times we think of the atonement as something to be used mainly when we mess up or make a mistake (at least I have), but often we forget that this is not all the atonement is for.  It is for any pain, any hurt, any struggle.  It is for anything that disconnects us from God.  The atonement is for any affliction and any trial.

 I think the atonement is something so powerful that it takes a lifetime to understand. But I do know this, that I know that he loves me.  Even when I struggle to remember that, he reminds me.  I know that he is there no matter the heartache or struggle I am facing.  Even just with juggling two kids and trying to be the best Mom for them, is something he helps me with daily. 

Christ already suffered for me and you, the question is will we let him into our hearts.  I think that letting him in is the first step to understanding more of the atonement. When we let him in he will reach out with open arms and lead us along. 

I love the photo of Christ's coming where he is surrounded by clouds, blue sky and angels, with his arms open wide.  It makes me think that those arms are open for me.  What a beautiful thing to know that he is the one person who will always be there. Who will never let you down. Who will be there to pick you up when you fall and will be the support you need.  He's there when you need to talk.  He's there to give you that hug when you've had a bad day. How special it is to know that he loves you?

I am filled with so much gratitude for my Savior.  I don't know where I would be without him.  The struggles I am facing right now in my life, no matter how minor or major they may be, are ones that I could not get through without him.  I could not go through life without him.  He is my rock and has been there when I have felt alone and unsure.  He has been there when I've doubted myself and been afraid.  He has been there through it all.  He will never leave me no matter how rough the tide may be. 

What a special time of year it is to be able to remember our brother, our Savior, Jesus Christ.

 Merry Christmas!

A Warm Welcome to Miles

We just had our little boy Miles Cameron Gowen, on November 9th. He was 8 lbs 5 oz and 21.5 inches long. He is a healthy and happy baby and just as precious as ever.

As we've been sitting in the hospital, we haven't been able to keep our eyes off of him.  He looks around with his big beautiful eyes and I can't help, but wonder what he is thinking.  It's a whole new world being born and an incredible journey growing and learning through life.  I love watching each stage of life children go through and it's so fun to think that we went through that same thing not long ago.

It's amazing to see Miles and his personality, being only a few days old, and seeing how different he and Emree are from each other.  Miles is super laid back and relaxed about life and gobbles down his food in less than 10 minutes almost every time.  He is a beautiful addition to our family and we are so excited to have him here.  He has such a sweet spirit about him. It's such a special time having a newborn in the home.  It's a time where you come to refocus your life and remember what really matters most.

Emree still isn't quite sure what is going on, but once we get home I think she will start to understand and will probably love him more than we imagined. ;) Miles is a huge blessing to us and I am feeling so blessed to have two beautiful kids who are so different, but so special.  I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for allowing us to have the opportunity to raise Emree and Miles.  It is a privilege to be to have these sweet spirits in our home. 

Welcome to the family Miles. We love you so much and are so excited to have you in our lives!